Relaxation Music

It’s great to be ALONE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS, but sometimes all you want to do is GET AWAY FROM THEM…

I think that one of the easiest way to calm yourself from anxiety, stress, fear or many other emotions that can seem unbearable and overpowering is to stop yourself in your tracks, is to listen to calming music.

• Whether you’re on a dog walk alone and you find that your hardest thoughts to manage are pushing themselves into the forfront of your mind…
• You’ve woken up, are lying in bed and the stresses and worries of the day are already forcing themselves to be thought about…
• Or you’ve returned home after a long day and the only way you can think of relieving the stress it to scream into your pillow…

STOP EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE

CLOSE YOUR EYES

SWITCH ON THE STEREO/PUT YOUR HEADPHONES IN

IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE MUSIC

DONT THINK

I know that to “not think” is easier said than done, but I really believe that just taking anywhere between 10 minutes and 30 minutes out of your day to listen to a CALMING track or playlist could be really beneficial, because if you close your eyes, if feels like you are physically blocking out the world.

This is one of my personal favourite wake-up songs, that I put on immediately if I feel that I’m not in the right frame of mind to start the day.

Friends With Benefits Poll

VS.

I’ve been asked quite a few questions along the lines of whether you can have sex with no strings attached, whether sex can remain casual and whether friends with benefits is enough.

I’ve created this poll to see what YOU think about the subject;

www.formspring.me/talulahcowell

xox

Question 4

QUESTION:

Hey, I have a terrible lack of motivation at the moment. I’ve never been too good at it but I feel like i’m in the doldrums. Do you have any ideas? Quick reply please. Thanks.

ANSWER:

It could be either that you are feeling a lack of motivation either because you are bored due to ‘nothing to do’, or that you are feeling de-motivated even though you have plenty to be cracking on with. Either way it’s not a nice feeling. If you are feeling lack luster, It sounds to me that you need something to look forward to, something exciting, a goal. This can be to act as a ‘treat’ to kick start your motivation for the jobs that you are currently avoiding, OR pull you up out of your de-motivated routine of boredom.

Try making a GOAL for each TIMEFRAME;

Day

Week

Month

6 Months

Year

Etc. Etc.

Hopefully if it is something new and exciting that you would like to do for yourself it will spur up some motivation because you’re looking forward to reaching your goal!

You could also look at my TOP TIPS FOR SUCCESS I hope this helps, and feel free to ask me anything else on:

http://www.formspring.me/talulahcowell

yoursecretbestfriend

xox

Question 3

QUESTION:

Why do I find the concept of frenemy strange? Does everyone have a frenemy- I thought it was just a Hollywood anti-female idea for chick flicks or school girl stage. Now i’m paranoid: is it because I don’t have enough female friends? Nicola

ANSWER:

Hi Nicola, Thank you for your question. For those of us who aren’t sure about what a ‘frenemy’ is I will explain. A frenemy, in my eyes, is an enemy who is disguised as a friend.

I do agree with you in thinking that it is just a Hollywood anti-female idea for chick flicks, simply because I would hope that as adults in the real world, as opposed to on screen, we would have the confidence and sense of self preservation to ditch any lurking frenemy. I just think that in chick flicks the concept is hightened and dramatised for effect in the film.

There is no need to feel paranoid, and I think it’s really important that you don’t, because this could cause rifts between you and your female friends. They may feel upset and hurt at the fact that you doubt the authenticity of the friendship. Also, I do not think that you are being paranoid because you don’t have enough female friends. I think you may be being paranoid because of the medias representation and exploration of this new frenemy concept. If you read my tips and think that these do not apply to your girlfriends, then you are very lucky to have such true close friends. You may be somebody who, like me, do not have any frenemy’s, I do not believe that everyone does, so you needn’t worry that you don’t have one. This is a great place to be, being able to trust your friends implicitly, in a caring relationship. So hang onto them!

However if you are having trouble being able to distinguish whether you have a frenemy in your midst you will be able to spot them a mile off from these few tell tale signs.

1) She has you wrapped around her little finger; Frenemy’s don’t want what’s best for you, but they somehow manage to mind warp you into thinking that they do, so they give you advice that you believe (as you are both friends) is aimed at trying to help you, however somehow it makes you worse off or her better off.

2) You’re only important when there is something in it for her; You haven’t heard from her in ages but now, suddenly she needs something to borrow, or a favour is being asked, and of course your are more than willing to help, but when the shoe is on the other foot, and YOU need a shoulder to cry on, a dress to borrow, or a lift to the train station she’s nowhere to be found.

3) Backhanded compliments; We all know what they are… “Your new haircut really slims your face”. OR “you’re clever than you look…” If this friend of yours is dishing them out left right and centre, leaving you with low self esteem then it is clear that she is not a true friend to you, and therefore may not be somebody you need in your life. 

I really hope this helps Nicola, don’t forget, you can contact me on the link below if you want to talk about anything at all…

http://www.formspring.me/talulahcowell

yoursecretbestfriend
xox

 

How To Succeed

5 TOP TIPS; “HOW TO SUCCEED”

→ We are all equal! You are as intelligent, beautiful, interesting and worthy as any of these people that you are comparing yourself to! Whatever it is you think you are ‘not as good as them at’ remember that you ARE. Everybody has their own set of skills and attributes, so take a long look at yourself and work out what yours are .You must focus on all the assets and talents you have, rather than living life wondering about those you lack.

→ Be kind! Once you have acknowledged your assets, ensure you don’t push others into the shadow you found yourself in only moments ago. Just because you have now realised that you are on the same level as those you previously envied, does not mean that others should now be comparing themselves to you or living with self-doubt. While you have risen out of that mind set, it’s not kind to make other people feel less amazing than you.

→ Take others opinions of you in your stride! Remember what others think of you is of no concern of yours whatsoever. Do not take it to heart, or drag yourself down just because people are judging you or analyzing your life for you.

→ Try to not tire yourself out! One of the main reasons we lack confidence is due to thinking we are not delivering or achieving what people expect of us. Learn how to say “NO.” This may be one of the most challenging skills to learn but saying, “yes” to everything that your friends, family, or colleagues ask is going to be a tough weight to bare. Your own personal and professional life will suffer. You may end up performing unsatisfactorily in the challenges or favours you do take on, and that is no good for anybody. Not to mention, taking the world on your shoulders will burn you out.

→ Having a positive attitude! Valuing yourself highly will allow you to recognise that you are in complete control of your own life.

http://www.formspring.me/talulahcowell

yoursecretbestfriend
xox

Question 2

QUESTION:

Hi, I’m 16 and a virgin, my boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex- but i dont feel ready, what should I do?

ANSWER:

Hi (:

You’re 16? No matter how long you have been with your boyfriend, or how much you care for him, you really shouldn’t be worrying about this at your age. You may not feel particularly young, and you may hate people saying so, but you are. There is plenty of time for you to become ready to have sex. Be this with or without him.

Without being too harsh on you or your boyfriend you need to hear some home truths.

In my opinion you need to re-evaluate your relationship with your partner, it is completely irrelevant as to whether he has already lost his virginity, whether you’ve been dating for years, or how long he ‘has been waiting for you’… It is always completely unacceptable for someone to feel pressured into any situation, especially sex.
You do not deserve to being made to feel that you ‘should’ or ‘have’ to do this with him. I am pressuming that you have told him that you aren’t ready, and this makes me think that he may not be worthy of being your boyfriend if he is not respecting your decision. This is not a very loving or caring thing to be doing. If he was worth losing your virginity too, he would support you completely in you decision and not pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do.

I think that you need to have a sit down, and a chat with your boyfriend about the situation. It may just be that there has been a lack of communication and you have got your wires crossed. He thinks one thing, and you think another. Whatever has lead you to feel pressured has to stop… Now!

If he has had no idea how you were feeling and he is happy to wait with you, then great. But if he is aware that you aren’t in the same mindframe as him and yet he is trying to make you go against your will then I strongly suggest that you should leave him, and surround yourself with people that give you the respect that you deserve.

Thankyou for your question, feel free to talk to me anytime on;

http://www.formspring.me/talulahcowell
yoursecretbestfriend
xox

Question 1

QUESTION:

How do you fit in at uni/college/job when you’re new and everyone else seems to know each other already ?

ANSWER:

Hi (:

Only a few things are certain in life, and one of them is that you will definitely have to enter a situation like the one that you have mentioned at some point. As you said, this could be starting a new university, college or job amongst many other situations. It is a shame you haven’t specifically mentioned which is applicable to you, but I will try my best to shed some light, and make you less apprehensive anyway.

One important thing to remember is that if you are starting a new university or college, it will usually be at the start of an academic year when all the other people in your school year will be new to the class as well. If this is the case for you, I can tell you that virtually no one knows anyone else because everyone is in the same boat. They are more than likely just as worried and excited as you are.

Even if you are looking around and seeing clusters of people laughing loudly and chatting continuously, these students will probably either have only known each other since the mornings bus journey in, or if they are old friends, they are only causing an obviously display of friendship because they too are scared of meeting other people and so wont leave each others sides.

Personally I would get rid of all those niggling thoughts at the front of you mind, take a deep breath and introduce yourself. This could either be to someone else who is looking nervous and standing on their own, so that you can help each other out in navigating the rooms and timetable, or you could jump straight in, walk up to a group of people who you could see yourself chatting to for the rest of the day. Chances are in either of these scenarios that you will be welcomed in with open arms. However, if you’re not, whatever you do, don’t give up, take it as a sign that they weren’t the kind of people that you would want to hang around with anyway, and try again!

If this doesn’t seem to be working for you I would suggest that you could sign up for a club, team or society in order to make new friends. They’re a great way of meeting a group of people all interested in the same thing, or all working towards a common goal.

I really hope this helps, if you want to chat about anything else feel free to message me on;

http://www.formspring.me/talulahcowell

yoursecretbestfriend

xox

yoursecretbestfriend.wordpress.com
yoursecretbestfriend.wordpress.com

A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed

Hi i’m Talulah

Welcome to my blog. I am here to help take the weight of your shoulders, lend an ear and if you would like, try and help you to resolve the issues that you talk to me about.

The great thing about me, is that I am going to be your confidante, somebody who you can talk to about anything and everything. -I promise that we won’t argue and fall out, I won’t gossip to your friends, and I will absolutley not ever judge you.

Everything asked on formspring is anonymous, and I will never know who you are, and nore will anyone else.

So come on- what’s on your mind

http://www.formspring.me/talulahcowell

You can tell me… yoursecretbestfriend

xox